Posted by: tayleni | September 28, 2010

Waiting For My Dream Job at the Beach

There’s an actual heatwave in SoCal and the temps have reached into the 100’s.  I decided that instead of being semi-productive on my day off, I would be extremely productive by biking to the beach and laying on the sand all day long.  I multi-tasked like a banshee today.  I got exercise, a tan, and expanded my vocabulary and imagination by reading a book (Lynze, I think you would like it. You can read it during Christmas).  Badda bing, badda boom.  The Route was a good one… about 8.5 miles round trip.  Something I noticed: there are a lot of expensive car dealerships in Newport…  I’m thinking about renting this for a special occasion…

And the rest of my afternoon consisted of this:

Followed by enjoying this:

Reason #72 I love California: It’s almost October and I can still go to the beach all day.

Posted by: tayleni | September 13, 2010

Consuela, meet the salad lady. You two will be great friends.

There is a salad lady at work who sounds exactly like the cleaning lady on family guy.

Posted by: tayleni | September 11, 2010

Permanent Vacation

I have officially gotten settled in the land where the seasons never change, and I could not be happier.  Getting to my final destination of Newport Beach was a little bit of a nightmare after plans kept falling through, but  it’s all good because I have great roommates, cheap (for the area) rent, and I’m on the hunt for a real job.  If this real job doesn’t feel like a job, then that would naturally be an added bonus.  so how have I spent my days since getting to California?

Frolicking on the beach:   Apparently, the constant 75 degrees day-in and day-out all through the summer is considered “cold.”  I consider it “perfect.”  I will admit that the water is a bit chilly, but on the sand, it’s amazing.

Cruisin’:  I just bought this beauty at a swap meet down at one of the college’s here in Orange County, and we have been enjoying the gorgeous scenery that Newport has to offer.

Scenery:  This is Newport Harbor, which is just a 5 minute bike ride to from my house. 

Corona del Mar has also been one of my favorite little beaches to visit…

Now, I just barely upgraded to a new phone late into the summer, and needless to say, it takes better pictures than my real camera.  So more pictures to come!

Posted by: tayleni | September 11, 2010


About 6 months ago, I took this gem of a picture whilst in Venice Beach, CA for spring break.  Clearly, it’s a rough neighborhood.

About a week or so ago, my good friend Jared sent me the most legit picture ever taken by a late 90’s phone.  Words could not, and still can not describe how delightful I think this picture is.  Thank you, Jared.

Posted by: tayleni | October 13, 2009

Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems

I’ve decided that nothing can surprise me anymore, especially when it comes to working in a restaurant.  Once there was a time where I would be shocked by a lousy tip, aggravated by a parents’ lack of parenting skills (letting their little nugget children run all over the place while I’m trying to pass out hot soup, letting their snot-nosed kids cry and throw temper tantrums, and so on), but now, nothing surprises me.

The other day I was working a lunch shift.  I had a table of four old ladies first.  Now, as adorable as old people are, they have a bad rep for not tipping the best.  Then, a fellow server and I were sat a party of 20.  Technically, another server should have been on it with us, but we said that we could handle it.  On those 2 tables alone I was at almost 30 dollars, so I was feeling pretty good.  Then came my last table of the day…

Three adults, two children, and one stroller.  They ordered: three soup, salad, and breadsticks lunch, three soft drinks, two kids drinks, two boats of alfredo, and one kids fettucini alfredo add chicken.  Their total bill was 43.88, relatively.  Since I was feeling generous, I let the fact that the mom was sharing her 4 bowls of soup with her son slide.  I should have charged them for an extra bowl, but didn’t.  You’re welcome.  After coming to the table one last time, the grandma handed me the black book and said, “It’s all yours.”  I said thank you and went to close out the table…they were 10 dollars short.  When I rushed back to the table to inform the old bat that she was short, she said she “thought” she gave me two 20’s.  I fanned the money out to show her, and she reluctantly gave me the second twenty.  I closed out the table, and was glad to receive a $10 tip, since their little monsters destroyed the table.  When I turned the corner, however, to go clean that table and tip out to another server, I was face-to-face with grandma.

“How much money did I give you?”

“Fifty-four dollars on a forty-four dollar check.” I fanned out the money once more…

“No let me see…” the woman said as she started to LITERALLY take money out of my hand.  “If I take these four singles…how much will your tip be?”

“About six dollars…on a fourty-four dollar ticket…”  She fiddled with her four dollars, and was about to give me another two or three dollars, but then said, “If I give you anymore, I won’t have enough for groceries…”  Needless to say, I was completely dumbfounded and shocked by the audacity of this woman.


Looking blankly into her eyes, I just said, “No, no…it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.  It’s fine.”  What else was I going to say?  I couldn’t tell her, “no crazy lady!  That’s my money now!”

“Ok thanks!  Have a good day!”


Posted by: tayleni | September 1, 2009

Thanks a lot, Dave.

Over a decade ago, it was nearly impossible for me to get tickets to see Dave Matthews Band in either East Troy, Wisconsin or Chicago, Ildave_matthews_bandlinois (these being the two closest locations to see him).  His concerts would sell out so fast that the only way you had a shot of seeing him was that if you either won a raffle or had friends whose parents’ company bought tickets ahead of time.  Now, Utah’s music scene isn’t nearly as good as other cities, but Dave Matthews had been scheduled to come out our way.  This evening, I was going to go see him.  His concert is now postponed.  I am disappointed.  This is the second time in a row that he has canceled or postponed a concert at USANA Amphitheater.  Dave Matthews, you and I are in a fight.  I hate that I love you so so much.  I love your newest release, Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King and was looking forward to hearing your classic tracks.  I hope that USANA isn’t your only postponed concert on this tour (because that would be just plain mean to single us out) and that you reschedule this concert soon.

Posted by: tayleni | April 16, 2009

“Class” Act

This is not a post concerning individuals that are stand-up characters, but rather what classes I should register for in my final semester at Utah State.  So far, I have 6 credits for the Fall semester: Spanish 2020, Bowling, and Billiards. I have no other classes that are imperative to graduating, so I therefore want to have the easiest, simplest semester ever.  I want to think as little as possible….utahstate1

Posted by: tayleni | March 11, 2009

25 Things

This is on Facebook, and I’m now giving in to it…s-free-credit-large

1. I HATE commercials that involve singing, such as J.G. Wentworth, esurance, and most of all, commercials.  Hate them so much.  I have to change the channel or leave the room when they come on.

2.  I can’t stand it when two people sit on the same side of the booth when it’s just them going to dinner.

3.  I got a skull fracture on the first full day of summer when I was 4 or 5.  If you know my brother, you’ve heard the stories, and thus, this picture is funny.

imagine it in white...

imagine it in white...

4.  I was jealous that my brother could draw and that I couldn’t, so I taught myself how.

5.  I love concerts.  I’ve seen quite a variety of bands, including Aerosmith, The Fray (twice), Dashboard Confessional (twice), OAR (four times), Panic at the Disco,  All American Rejects, The Used, Sister Hazel, Plain White T’s (four times), Lucky Boys Confusion, The Cab and so on…(and this isn’t counting the music festivals that I’ve been to)…

6.  I can remember movie lines even if I’ve only seen the film once.

7.  Besides the one skull fracture, I’ve only had 3 stitches (on my thumb) and no other real injuries…

8.  I love motorcylces.  I want one really bad, but don’t think it will happen…ever.  Sad.

9.  I could probably eat Mexican food everyday.

10.  I hate gummy candy.  Not like DOTS or Sour Patch Kids, but like gummy bears or worms.  So gross.

11.  If I have Twizzlers or Red Vines near me, I will use them as a straw for my drink.

12.  I talked with the Plain White T’s before one of there shows here in Logan.  I hadplain-white-ts no idea who they were, I just thought one of the guys was cute (one of the guitarists) and they were from the Chicago area, so we had stuff to talk about.

13.  I own a lot of watches.  I own more than I should, but I just love them so much.  Same with zipper jackets/coats…I own a lot of those too..

14.  I get very impatient very quickly when driving.  I hate when drivers drive slow in the fast lane, can’t park in their own spot, or comprehend a 4-way stop.

15.  I eavesdrop like nobody’s business at work.  I hear some of the dumbest conversations at my tables or when I’m just walking around, and some of the funniest stories from co-worker.

16.  I could spend everyday of my summer next to a pool and not complain.  I love laying out in the sun (the only reason why I was a lifeguard for so long), and could happily live somewhere that had 80 degree weather throughout the year.  (Unfortunately, I would probably miss the fall season, and if I lived in 80 degree weather all year round, I would never really get to wear my coats…so that probably wouldn’t work out 100%).

17.  I hate math.  I can understand discounts or figuring out my tip, but if someone mathstarts throwing out statistics or talk about engineering, my brain starts to seizure.  Like today I was on a ski lift with a guy from China who is teaching engineering at Utah State.  He threw out a couple percentages….and I gotta be honest, I made some incoherent comment when I heard silence.

18.  Journey’s Greatest Hits and Chicago’s music can put me in a good mood no matter what, but Dashboard Confessional is the best break-up music.

19.  I hate the Little Debbie snacks that have the white lard stuff in them like the twinkies and those cupcakes.  I’d rather eat a raw egg… like Rocky.

20.  If I see that there is like a marathon of Law and Order or Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, my plans for the day are shot.

21.  I love reality TV.  Even though 99% of the shows are copycats of one another or feature a lot of the same people, I love it regardless.  These are shows like the Flavor of Loves, Charm School, Bret Michaels Rock of Love, Tool Academy, The Pick-Up Artist, and yes, even Keeping Up With the Kardashians.  Don’t know why, but I love it.

22.  I think of funny things at really inappropriate times.  I will sometimes just think of something that I saw or heard and bust out laughing, and I’ll be at like, church or in class.  Furthermore, I laugh at other people to their face when I see them do stupid things, and I love it when people fall.  We’ll put in two clips for good measure… 

23.  I wish I was more clever…like the witty kind of clever.

24.  The longest I’ve gone without sleeping is 39 hours.  My mom then gave me 2 Tylenol PM’s (because I get sick when I’m lacking in sleep) and then told me to catch up on my sleep.  I didn’t wake up for almost 2 days.

25.  I have three main nicknames (besides shortening my name from Taylor to Tay): some call me Leno (I guess the extra syllable is just too much), others like to double up on my first name (because it is that awesome) and call me Tay Tay.  But sadly, my favorite nickname  is the one that my brother calls me…porkchop.  Sad, I know, but it makes me laugh.

Posted by: tayleni | March 5, 2009

Here’s Looking At You, Kid

There are a few things that creep me out: haunted houses, wierd noises that have no origin, scary movies and other things of that nature.  However, I think I have something new to add to the list: old men that wink at meold-man-winking1.  Now, I can handle compliments from strangers about little things such as my dimple when I smile, the fact that I have nice teeth, and that I have a good set of eyes.  However, I cannot handle when I get a compliment from an old guy that is immediately followed by a wink.  When that happens, it’s wierd.  What’s even more wierd is when his wife is sitting across from him.  What makes me want to have him arrested for being a sexual predator is when he continually winks at me every time I pass by.  What creeps you out?

Posted by: tayleni | February 22, 2009

Weave Me Alone

Here’s a little bit of odd news for the week…

In Kansas City, MO – Other than having a bit of a headache, a woman was uninjured after having a gun fired at her head. Thankfully, the bullet was tangled in her weave, saving her life.
The Story: Yahoo! news…
Police said, Briana Bond, a 20-year-old woman was in a convenience store parking lot late Wednesday when a man flagged her down and told her that her ex-boyfriend still loved her.

She replied, “Well I don’t love him,” then heard gunshots. She said she looked behind the vehicle and saw her ex-boyfriend firing a handgun at her. She stomped her accelerator and fled, then turned into another parking lot and called police.

She told officers she recently had ended an eight-month relationship with the suspect.

Police arrested the ex-boyfriend and his friend in a car.

“I invested a lot of money into this wig, and it saved my life,” Bond said.

This makes me wonder, “Who else could have the same luck as this woman?  Who else could be saved by their weave?”

1.  Sapphyrie:  Flavor of Love 2, Charm School, and I Love Money 2.sapphyrie1

This is a very tame picture of one of my favorite people from this vh1 trilogy. I find her to be absolutely hilarious.  She didn’t last long on  Flavor of Love after fighting a girl over a bed, but she won in Charm School, and she is the ONLY reason why I watch I Love Money 2…ok and maybe Becky “Buckwild” is another reason…  In Charm School, she was actually upset to change anything about her weave.  That’s dedication.

2.  Beyonce:  In the movie, Goldmember.goldmember

I think this picture says it all.  Not only would you hate your life if  someone with this hair popped-a-squat right infront of you at the movies, but I think this weave/afro could not only protect you from the UV-rays of the sun, but could fight bullets as well.

3.  Tyra Banks

Enough said. tyra-curlers

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